The old year passes.

From Christmas until New Years I tried my best to stay upbeat. I continued getting my nails done. I asked people a dozen times a day if I was acting normal. I kept fielding questions about why I hadn't found a counselor yet. I was freaking out because I didn't have insurance anymore. I didn't know how I was going to afford insurance or take care of myself. I mean, I knew it would all work out, but man, things were going to be tight and I was just so overwhelmed.

My neighbor promised me a rockin' New Years Eve on the town. I bought some dresses off ebay. Then at the last minute a ton of things happened at the same time.

1. I found out they didn't expect Allen's grandfather to live into the New Year so I cancelled my plans with my neighbor.
2. I got into a big fight with my neighbor over said cancellation.
3. I found out that someone special that had been friends with Allen online and had been checking in on me EVERY DAY was going on a business trip to the Southwest and would have a day to just hang out.
4. I decided I needed some adventure. No matter the price. People kept telling me I was "fine" and I didn't believe them, but I didn't not believe them either. I felt out of control and I wanted to take some control. I wanted to be in charge. I kept telling myself I was in charge of my own life and could do what I wanted, but the reality of my situation was that I was coming home every night and mostly following orders on what to do next in my house. I didn't get a choice on what we would do next, I was just expected to come home after being at work until six and then work until exhaustion set in and get up the next morning and go to work at 7am to do it all again.

I was fighting with my neighbor constantly and didn't know what to do to let him know that I needed a break. He kept saying I didn't and that I needed to hurry and finish the work on my house.

I bought a plane ticket. I was going away. He fought with me about that too.

I didn't care.

I am Wonder Woman.

She isn't one to be pushed around.

I had been so sad and defeated. I didn't know what to say or do. I needed something. I needed me. I needed to take my power back. I had laid it down in hopes that someone else could just direct me like a puppet.

That was wrong.