November 26...

Saturday, November 26, 2011. It started like any other Saturday where I had to work the split and petsit. I woke up really early, went to the petsitting houses and took care of the pets. Then I went to work for an hour or so to take care of the pets there. Then home. Allen woke up about noon and we watched some sort of tv program together on Hulu. Then he went to get ready for work. I'm sure we ate lunch together. It's what we usually did. He had to be at work before me. Before he left he told me that I wouldn't be able to call him at work until after 5pm (which is a little strange) he said they would be working in the printer room running some reports so he wouldn't be able to hear to talk. I said I understood. Then he left. I got ready to go back for the afternoon shift, and as I was walking to the door my neighbor called and asked me to walk over for some reason.

I don't remember why.

I remember I walked over and we chatted then I said I had to go I was running late.
I got in my car and as I was leaving our little neighborhood, I saw Allen's car. He stopped. I told him I was running late and he said he had forgotten his keycard and couldn't get into work. I looked at the clock in my car. 2:36
He reminded me he wouldn't be able to talk on the phone. I said thanks for the reminder and told him I loved him. He told me he loved me. Then he drove towards the house and I went on to work. I worked the shift at work, then did my petsitting. Then I dialed his cellphone number.

There was no answer. Then I called his work number. I was told he called in sick. I called my neighbor. I asked him to just look outside and see if the car was there. I was hysterical, crying, I knew something was wrong.

My neighbor wasn't home, he told me he'd meet me there and not to go to my house until he got there. Then he hung up. I called my best girlfriend, told her what was going on and told her to please talk to me until I got home, that I was crying way too hard on my own to drive.

When I got home my neighbor had already gotten home and was walking towards my house. I slowed down, saw Allen's car in the drive and then noticed the garage light was on. My neighbor then ran up to the garage door and back to my car (it all happened so fast and so slow in my mind). He told me to take my car to his house, that I couldn't go to my house. He didn't want to tell me why.

I asked him if there was a body in the garage and he told me to just go home.
I told him to just tell me if it was Allen and if he was dead and I would go.
So he said yes.

I drove up to his house and parked my car. I called the closest people I could think of to come and be with me because my neighbor said he had to make calls and I needed to not be around what was about to happen. I had hung up on my best friend at some point, so I called her back and told her to get here now... she lives a couple plus hours away.

The other stuff is a blur. My friends came, I cried uncontrollably. The police had to talk to me, they searched my home while I wasn't there. They tried to make me eat, there were so many people to call. I finally consented to go get food for people, I know everyone else was hungry and when I ate a little they left me alone. The night had passed, it was the wee hours of the morning before I would consent to lay down. I had broken my mother's heart by telling her to stay home tonight. I didn't want anyone around at that point, but the people around weren't leaving me. I didn't want more. I didn't want to spend the night at my neighbor's I wanted to go home.

I went home, my friends followed me home. It was a long long time before the sun came up. I slept maybe an hour or two with horrible dreams of what he must have looked like.
I felt like everything had been drained from me but the tears would still come if I just let them.