What To Do With Things

When I started changing my home to be just MY home, there were a lot of things that went to a dumpster. Why? Because they were old and broken. They needed to be tossed a long time ago. And because some of them were just garbage in their own right.

The cleanup started in the garage which handn't been opened in over two years (or ever since the spring that opens and closes the door broke. I don't have a good excuse for not having had the door fixed, but now it just seems a waste of money as the door is now propped open and it works as the carport it was designed as in the first place. I don't know how many truckloads came out of the garage, but in total I helped toss six pickup loads of stuff from this house. I know there is more that needs to go, but it's in a room I can only spend limited time in right now. The living/dining area got new paint, lots of new to me furniture (and a few actual new pieces). And the downstairs where the most changes have taken place are where I spend the bulk of my time. I do sleep in the bedroom (I have a new mattress and box springs. It was one of the first things I purchased, and really I couldn't sleep up there until I bought that.

When my therapist found out about the big clean out/ tossing of things she cautioned me to slow down and to keep some stuff. Well, she couldn't tell me what to keep of course, and there's some stuff I just don't know what to do with. Like my wedding dress. I hate to toss it out, I hate to keep it as a constant reminder. There is a trend for ladies to deconstruct wedding dresses and make crafty things out of them, but can I really take a scissor to it? I don't know. Should I give it to my goddaughter to play dress up? I don't know, and I still have some time. I mean I guess I have loads of time to decide. I'll tell you something though. It lives in the cedar chest that belonged to my mom. In a black plastic garbage bag. It's held up great this way, and I used to take it out of the bag at least once a year, on my anniversary and try it on. It still fit last year. It would be a bit big now... judging by the way my other clothing fits. I didn't do it in front of Allen because he saw me in it the first year and told me it was weird for me to have it on, that people didn't do that. So I just didn't do it in front of him after that. But I did it. And it was way better than having it stored in some sealed box to never be opened.

What do people do with those things anyway?

I also don't know what to do with all the action figures. I've given a ton of them to friends, but there are so many more. There's just not much I WANT to keep. I kept all of our Christmas decorations, but really Christmas was so traumatic around here I don't know why. I can't imagine going and opening that big box and seeing the Pepe Le Pew and Penelope embracing with the year we were married on a banner in front of them. What do you do with things like that? The memory of buying the ornament good, the fact that it got to hang on like 3 Christmas trees in 15 years, BAD!

There are movies I won't ever watch, games I will never play, musical instruments and baseball cards I want to sell but have no idea of their value. There are writings I find in hundreds of notebooks that drive me insane because of the obvious fact that they are in some stage of editing which I know would NEVER have been complete because NOTHING was ever complete because of some inane ability never to be able to finish things even when he would be so harsh on other people for not finishing things themselves. (We often loudly discussed how his works were never "finished" and ready for "others" to see/read/hear.)

What do I do with these things?

As I figure it out, it gets done. I have fed the dumpster, taken clothing to goodwill, given tokens to friends as I thought they'd like or want them. But I have a ways to go, and I have friends who are coming to help with the hard things. I need to get those dates hammered down.

Any other suggestions are welcome :)