Yesterday was a day I have been dreading for months. It was the six month anniversary of his death. I don't know why I thought the six month mark would be such a big deal, except that it was the day before my birthday, which was today.
I woke up and was sad for a few minutes in the morning. I did cry, but just a bit and thought about six months ago. Then I got up, dressed and did my petsitting deeds and then went to help a friend with some tasks around her house that needed more than one person to do them :).
It wasn't anywhere near what I expected to go through when he first died. I was glad I had plans to do something and glad I had allowed myself to grieve when I first woke up. My therapist said I needed to allot time for these feelings, so I never tried to smother them, I just gave in and let them out.
It was hardly worth mentioning.
Today started with me waking up and remembering my previous birthdays. Mine was the only birthday we celebrated. He didn't even want his acknowledged. I remembered that at some point on my birthday I usually cry every year. After I remembered that something usually happened that made me want to cry on my birthday I went ahead and gave in to the tears. I felt good because they were normal. The tone of the messages that were being left on my phone were not. While I was with my friend the day before people kept checking on me to see if I needed to do something on my actual birthday.
The last thing I wanted for today was "pity" plans. I went out with my friends J and A because they usually either take me out for a movie and meal or cook for me on or near my birthday. They've done it several years in a row now and that made it a totally normal birthday activity. I'm not going to lie, I thought about cancelling those plans all day long. But I didn't and it made me so very happy. A even make special cupcakes for me that are baked inside of icecream cones... YUM!! I had a really nice evening. And, I read a book today :)
I read the Hunger Games. It was way better than I expected (I did hate one minor part, but overall give the book a B++).
I did eventually call everyone back that had left messages for me this morning, when I felt I could talk no matter what they said.
I really think it could have been a terrible day, but not for Wonder Woman!
Today I am 37.
It was a good day.
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