It was sixteen years ago today that I got married to my first husband. This is the first anniversary without him, but not the first to go uncelebrated as a couple. The anniversaries that we actually celebrated were years: 1, 5, 10.
Last year he was too depressed. And I was hurt, I wanted to be important and for the day to be special and celebrated in SOME way.
Today was nowhere near what I expected. The day started with an email from Allen's mother that freaked me out. It was nice, but it freaked me out. Then my mom called and left a message that I refuse to listen to because the voice transcription in my email made me sad to read it. I was very short tempered and what my sister told me was "hypersensitive" all morning. At lunch I posted on FB that it WAS the anniversary of the wedding and that I was ok in hopes of stopping people from contacting me with "that" tone in their voice because I cant stand it. And this afternoon I felt the funk lifting, I went to dinner with a GREAT girlfriend of mine and we laughed and talked for a few hours. It was GREAT. (and yes, I had A drink but that means only 1).
I thought this day was going to be SO MUCH WORSE than it was.
It really wasn't bad at all, I mean I really thought I'd be crying and depressed.
huh!
Yay me.
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